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This is one parents-must-read article!
Warm Parents can be the best gift a child can get. But sadly, not every child is lucky in that aspect.
Parents are supposed to guide their kid and bring out the best in them, irrespective of their kid’s abilities and talent. Now people may say who am I to talk about what parents are supposed to do. Am I a parent? Definitely not, but I too, am a kid… And I know what we people expect from our parents.
There are two important dimensions where parents and children can fall hard.
1. Situations and
Parents tend to tell us what we kids must do, but I believe there’d be a huge positive impact if parents try to teach us how to do for what we had thought to do and channelize us in a proper path. All we expect is freedom and support. We all know that you’ve given your best to raise, mold and protect us. You always think that we kids must not face those problems that you’ve faced in your time. But once we grow up, you expect us to deal with all those problems that you’ve never let us to deal with. Is this right in any way?
Parents have so much morals, experiences and life lessons for us. They hardly share. Once we fail in something what we decided to do, they start to think that the path itself we chose was wrong. They’ll be so clouded by the thought that we opposed their decisions and got on with our own.
Dear parents, I need you to see the situation in a different way. It’s not that the path we’ve chosen which is wrong. May be we had lacked in proper preparation for the target we’ve fixed, or it was the guidance we lacked, or we hadn’t knew what to do when. We would also fail if there’s no proper planning. And there could be hundreds of reasons for our failure. It’s still unknown that what makes you think very narrower when it comes to situations like these. Just try to open the alternative perspectives and you’ll understand a ton of things about us, about our situation.
It’s hard, but it should be accepted that world has changed a lot since your time as children. Expecting us to do things that you did may not help at all in these times. Remember the times that you used to tell us how hard it was for you for your education, now things are so easy for us in the same aspect.
But unfortunately, we might not need to learn everything. For instance, in schools, children fail in concepts that we hardly use in our daily life or we may not use it at all, like trigonometry. That failure may cost months or a whole year in some cases and as usual, parents scold, get angry and hard on them for that failure. How is this making sense?
Getting scolded for failing in a concept that we never or hardly use. The point is, learning everything may not work at all. How about you helping us in mastering a couple of necessary skills rather than making us the jack of all trades? Sounds good right? In that way, you are helping us directly in building our own career and our own life.
You need to understand what you’re kids capable of. And how is that understood? By letting them and guiding them into the thing they’re really interested in. Its not always right to use your experience to scold kids, try using them to guide and caution them. It makes your kid happy to see how you’re standing in order to support them. And their faces makes you happier than ever…
Kids are emotionally highly dependent on their parents. No matter how old your kids are, their emotional connection to you never fades off. Having an emotionally happy relationship is what makes a parent-child bond stronger on the outside.
How is that emotional connection strengthened? Respecting each others’ choices, spending time together talking different things, having fun as a family, watching each others’ backs, being emotionally available, trusting one’s decisions practically, being open to opinions…and tons of things.
These things not only strengthen the emotional connection but can also end up solving a great amount of emotional problems in children. Once if any kid gets an emotional problem, and if he/she becomes an adolescent, believe me, those problems turns out to root in them as nightmares.
One good parent and child relationship can result in the betterment of both, the child’s life and the parent’s life. When and if they both are good, a whole family turns out to be happy. That’s how important and effective a good parent and child relationship can be. Sometimes, things get worse, I agree.
But letting it to remain the worse ain’t the solution. We must fix things right, and in the road of fixing things right, hearts break, opinions differ, quarrels happen and etc. But trust me, they’re all worth it… We’ve become so lost in the working world that someday we might want to regret being so lost in there.
I truly hope that day never comes for any of us. Those are the things that weaken the connection we’re talking about. What’s the point of being so lost if we forget the sole purpose of being there? Its for the family.
I’d like to conclude all this by saying something which is very important. Kids are so vulnerable to surrender themselves for their anger. At these points, kids tend to harness their anger as their emotional power and form a cloud of inappropriate opinions on parents around them.
They can really use that power for not-so-good things and then, bad things happen. Instead, let them harness your support as their power. Let them realize how important parents are. Let them get practiced for rewarding for your efforts as parents through their achievements.
No matter what, no matter how worse things may change, good winds will always blow and at the end of the day, they are your own children right? Let’s be together as how truly it needs to be together.
“No matter what, a part of the family never remains left out.”